A New Path
by FenZev
Summary: The repercussions of Merrill's final quest in Act 3. How Hawke handles more blood on his hands, how Fenris supports him in his decision, and what happens to Merrill as a result of her actions. Rated M for brief m/m.


Varric kicked open the door to the mansion with Bianca at the ready. The odor of the place overwhelmed him at first; mold and stale wine invaded his senses as he leaned closer to his crossbow to take in the scent of her instead. The sound of broken glass shattering filled the front hall as he entered, and for a moment Varric considered retreating to get backup.

Another something breaking, followed by a loud thump and an enraged scream from Hawke, prodded Varric to continue further in. The mansion was in its usual state of disarray and filth, and Varric cursed under his breath as a rodent startled him by running over his foot.

"Varric," came the low growly voice of Fenris, who was seated on the bottom step of the stairs.

The dwarf looked at the elf curiously but then understood, securing Bianca in her resting place on his back. "I have to say, I was most curious when Bodahn told me you two were here instead of at the estate. What's going on?"

Fenris took a glance up the stairs as more glass broke and the obvious sound of a fist through a wall echoed the dampened halls. "He's working some things out. Less valuables here."

Varric shook his head as he gazed up to the closed door. "You sure he's in there alone? Sounds like the entire carta is in there with him."

Fenris nodded but said nothing as the sounds of violent destruction continued. Varric leaned against the wall for a few moments, waiting for the loud thunder of carnage to end, but it seemed unlikely to happen anytime soon. "What's got him all riled up?" Varric finally asked Fenris. "What happened out there this morning?"

Fenris met the dwarf's gaze as he filled him in. "The Keeper and the Dalish are dead," he said flatly.

Varric was completely floored by the statement. "What? How?"

Fenris' eyes narrowed in hate. "That blood mage you're so fond of."

"Who, Daisy?" Varric grew concerned for his friend. "Is she alright?"

Fenris stood and towered over Varric. "Perhaps you didn't hear me. The Keeper and the Dalish are _dead_," he repeated angrily, markings beginning to glow a soft blue. "Her deals with demons finally caught up to her and Hawke was forced to take out the entire clan to defend her."

Varric put his hands up as if to surrender to the lighted elf. "I'm sorry, I didn't know. I'd rather my heart stay beating in my chest if it's alright with you."

Fenris grunted and walked away from Varric, pacing the main hall to calm himself and his markings. "Your precious mage is fine," he informed the dwarf as more objects hit the walls upstairs and shattered. "Hawke's state of mind is another story."

Varric eased his stance as Fenris relaxed a little. "Does he get like this often?"

Fenris stopped his strides and looked up at the bedroom door again. "Not really, no," he said with a hint of concern in his voice. "When his sister was taken to the Circle, when his mother died, and then after Isabela…"

Varric nodded, realizing the seriousness of the situation they were in. The three events Fenris mentioned lead to some drastic actions by Hawke, and now Varric was beginning to grow more concerned than he was when he first entered. "I'm not so sure some of us can handle a repeat of Isabela," he admitted.

"I'm not so sure Hawke can either," Fenris sighed as he climbed the stairs slowly, the bedroom door rattling as the thrashing in the room continued.

* * *

Garrett Hawke was exhausted, but he didn't care. He was still angry, and no matter what he threw, or punched, or broke, the anger wasn't subsiding. If he closed his eyes for a moment, it all replayed in his mind. The demon. The Keeper. Her death.

"_Keeper," Merrill said dropping to her knees. "What have you done? I don't want this. I never wanted this! Creators please let this be a bad dream! I'll wake up and feel like an idiot and she'll scold me for not listening."_

"_You _are_ an idiot," Hawke replied, ignoring Fenris' hand on his shoulder. "This woman loved you, and would rather take in a demon than watch you fall prey to it!"_

"_She never believed in me," Merrill argued, clearly not sensing Hawke's growing wrath._

"_She died for you!" Hawke yelled, his anger echoing off the cave walls. "Her blood is on _your_ hands. How many more will die because of what you've done?"_

_Merrill didn't answer, only turned her back on her friends. "I should go to the clan. Someone needs to know. Needs to come…take care of her." _

_The clan confronted them when they exited the cave. Covered in blood, Merrill admitted that the Keeper was dead, and the clan refused to listen to anything more she had to say. More senseless death as they attacked, not hearing any of Hawke's pleas for them to cease so he could explain. In defending himself and his friends, an entire Dalish clan was obliterated. _

Gone. Because of him.

Anger surfaced once more as he picked up a vase and threw it at the door, barely missing Fenris' head as he slipped in and ducked just in time. Hawke's dark blue eyes stared into calming green, but turned his back on his lover as he searched for something else to break.

Fenris looked around his old bedroom and shook his head. There was very little left intact that Hawke could destroy, save for the windows themselves. Fenris was thankful he no longer slept here, as the bed too had been a victim of Hawke's rage. "Garrett," he tried speaking his name softly to tame the wild beast.

Hawke shot him a look but went on pacing as Fenris noticed the drops of blood that trailed him. It seemed the new holes in the walls didn't come without consequence, but Hawke didn't seem to be effected by any pain. "Dozens dead," Hawke spoke as heavy footsteps led to crackling shards of glass and pottery. "Because of a blood mage. That _I _helped. That I have protected. For years." Something in his way got kicked, landing with a smack against the wall.

"You didn't know," Fenris offered, but it was no use.

"I _did_ know," Hawke corrected him. "We've_ all_ known. For years we've all known and ignored it." More pacing as he flexed his hand, looking down at the blood as it fell from his knuckles. "We all knew it would come to this, and did nothing to stop it. And now they're all dead."

Fenris dreaded the downward spiral Hawke was on. He'd seen it several times before, although never have they been in a comfortable place in their relationship where he could do much about it.

When they returned from the Deep Roads to find Bethany being taken to the Circle, Hawke had nothing on his mind other than revenge. He made several attempts at breaking her out as well as attempts on some templars lives. It was only by Varric's unbelievable skill at smooth talking and negotiation that Hawke didn't end up thrown in the dungeons for the rest of his life.

Leandra's death was horrible for all who witnessed it. Fenris and Hawke weren't on the best of terms at the time, since Fenris had walked out on him only a week earlier, but he was still close enough to watch Hawke breakdown inside. Several blood mages lost their lives that week as Hawke sought them out. He had made amends with the templars, specifically Knight-Captain Cullen, who had provided him with leads to some blood mage whereabouts. None of the other companions wanted to accompany Hawke on his mission of vengeance, but Fenris stood by his side even though things were rocky between them.

The death toll weighed heavily on Hawke after that, and the battle with the Arishok and the Qunari proved to be too much for him. He had lost his sister and his mother. The pain of Fenris walking away after the night they shared nearly destroyed the normally unbreakable spirit that was Hawke. To give himself to another man, for the first time, only to have that person walk away from him, it made Hawke a different person for a time. So when the Arishok offered to walk away without further bloodshed, on the condition that he be allowed to take Isabela, Hawke agreed without hesitation.

It was a long time before any of his companions spoke to him after that.

Except for Fenris. He always stood beside Hawke even when Hawke thought he wasn't there. This time would be no different, and he felt the need to prove that to Hawke again.

There was only one way to get through to Hawke when he was like this. Fenris forced Hawke against the wall in surprise and pressed his mouth hard on Hawke's, his bottom teeth nearly cutting into his lip at the intensity of the kiss. Hawke responded with a primal need, white hair suddenly in his grasp as he pressed into his lover to feel him harden against his leg. Fenris reached down between them and began massaging Hawke through his pants, feeling the desire build within seconds.

Fenris released a slow growl as Hawke's knee came up between his legs and began rubbing his own growing erection, their tongues dancing their familiar tease of strokes and caresses. The intensity of the friction between them nearly finished both off quickly, even through their clothes, but before either could find release Fenris pulled away. "I will not watch you do this to yourself again," Fenris said leaving Hawke panting and distracted, and painfully hard. "Resolve this anger quickly."

Hawke eyed Fenris, annoyed at his teasing but used to the game by now. It was his way of getting what he wanted from Hawke, and he knew it was the most effective. Hawke leaned his head back against the wall as he calmed the heat that was building inside him, considering solutions to ending the rage within.

Fenris moved to look out the window as he allowed Hawke time to think. He knew he was a horrible lover to withhold sex from the man, but he wasn't about to spend the next month watching Hawke begin his inevitable dissent into self-loathing. It was the only weapon he had, and he'd learned to use it well.

Movement brought his attention back to Hawke as he began searching through several of the over-turned chests. Finally finding what he was looking for, blank vellum, Hawke hastily scribbled a note and handed it to Fenris upon it's completion.

Fenris read it several times to make sure he had it correct, and met Hawke's inquiring gaze. "Are you certain?"

Hawke nodded, folding his arms across his chest. "I have never been more certain about anything."

Fenris thought for a moment, considering the solution Hawke had come to. "This will not go over well with the others," Fenris warned.

Hawke rolled his eyes. "Ask me if I care. It should have been done long ago."

"Very well," Fenris said moving towards the door. "I will deliver it." Hawke smiled for the first time since returning from Sundermount. "And then tonight I am yours."

* * *

Merrill sat with her legs crossed in front of the broken mirror. She thought back on everything that had happened that day as a few tears fell onto her cheeks. The Keeper was gone; dead by her own hand. Her clan killed, only because they thought they were avenging Marethari's death. If she hadn't fought so hard to restore the mirror, if she had only remained with her clan instead of leaving them, if she had never asked a demon for help…

"Foolish," she said out loud, thinking of all the possibilities of how things could've ended differently.

"What's foolish," a voice came from behind her, startling her to her feet.

"Oh Hawke," she said a bit breathless. "I didn't hear you come in."

Hawke nodded, "obviously." He moved towards the mirror that had become such an obsession, and the object of most of their arguments. "How are you holding up Merrill?"

Merrill turned away from him. She knew he was upset with her since he hadn't said a word the entire trip back to Kirkwall. In fact no one had spoken to her except Fenris, who had made a comment that he was sorry the Keeper had died for her. Anders hadn't said a word either, which was almost as bad as the evil things she was used to hearing from him.

"I'll be fine," she tried to sound chipper, though failed as her voice cracked under the strain of more tears threatening to fall.

"I know just what you need," Hawke stated as he pushed her towards the door. "Some fresh air will do you good."

"Uhm, we just had a lot of fresh air didn't we?" Merrill was confused. "Did you have something in mind?"

"How about a walk," Hawke said shrugging. "I still need to get these ingredients to Solivitus. Care to come with me?"

Merrill considered it. Stay in her filthy home with the rats or enjoy the remaining sunshine of the day. Perhaps a bit of normalcy was what she needed, and there was nothing more normal to her than traveling Kirkwall with Hawke. "Alright, you've convinced me."

"Excellent," Hawke said opening the door for her. "A quick trip to the Gallows will clear both our heads, and then we can begin again fresh tomorrow."

"Ooh, I like that," Merrill replied feeling a bit better after some company.

They strolled through Lowtown to the docks, and then waited for the boat to take them to the Gallows. Hawke allowed Merrill to depart first when they arrived where she was greeted by Fenris. "Oh, I didn't know you'd be here too!"

Fenris shrugged. "I get around."

Hawke walked into the courtyard with Merrill and Fenris, and Merrill began looking around. "That's odd," she said mostly to herself.

Hawke looked at her curiously. "What's odd Merrill?"

"Hmm…usually there are mages here with the templars. I guess they've all gone in for supper. I don't think I've ever been here this late in the day." She lowered her voice so it was barely audible. "I try not to come here if I don't have to, except when I sneak into the gardens."

"Now Merrill, you know sneaking into the Gallows gardens is illegal," Hawke said a bit loud as she tried to quiet him. Fenris smirked but remained silent as he watched the boat pull away from the courtyard stairs.

"Tell me Merrill," Hawke began to question, "have you ever wondered why I have let you tag along as long as I have?"

She looked from him to Fenris. "Because the Keeper asked you to?"

Hawke nodded. "Exactly."

Merrill turned as she heard footsteps approaching. "Hawke," Knight-Captain Cullen greeted the Champion. "It's good to see you again."

"And you Cullen," Hawke spoke sincerely. "I take it you are well?"

"I am, thank you," Cullen replied looking from Hawke to Merrill. "I received your note," he continued. "I must say I was a bit surprised, but I appreciate you bringing this to my attention."

"Note?" Merrill shied away from the templar and moved closer to Hawke. "You write notes to the Knight-Captain often?"

Hawke smirked. "Only when it involves blood mages that have just killed an entire clan of Dalish."

"Wait, what?" Merrill's face was full of shock and disbelief, even more so when two templars came up behind her and grabbed her arms. "Hawke? What is happening?"

"The Champion has filled us in on your demon summoning and the death of the Dalish clan we knew resided in Sundermount," Cullen explained. "The Knight-Commander and the First Enchanter have both approved the Rite of Tranquility for you." He placed a gentle hand on Merrill's shoulder. "It'll all be over soon."

Merrill still seemed confused. "What will be over soon? Are we going somewhere?" The templars began to drag her away as she looked over her shoulder. "Hawke?"

He watched as they entered the templar hall, a satisfied smile beginning to form on his face. "Take care Merrill," he said even though she was too far away to hear. He addressed Cullen once more. "I take it this will be done quickly? She is a dangerous blood mage; there's no telling what she may try to do once she actually realizes what is happening. She's a little slow in the thought process, but I imagine a lyrium branding to the forehead will smarten her up."

Cullen offered him a nod. "Don't worry Hawke, we'll take it from here. Thank you again, the Knight-Commander is most pleased."

"She can thank me tomorrow," Hawke said as he grabbed Fenris' hand. "I'm busy this evening."

Cullen watched as Hawke took the elf towards the boat launch, smacking his ass along the way. Cullen had always suspected Hawke may be into men, and it was now confirmed for him. Shaking his head he sighed, and made way towards the hall. He was in for a long evening.

Apparently so was Fenris.


End file.
